Single Ladies - 01x01 - Pilot
Pardon me, but someone needs to explain the difference.
Between one man saying,
"when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing,"
And another one saying, "I wanna lick, lick, lick you
"from your head to your toes,
Then move from the bed down to the floor."
The difference is Marvin gaye knew how to write a song.
That made a woman feel special.
Like she was the only woman in the world.
That's right.
Marvin...He could get it. I mean, all of it.
Oh, Sam cooke and Teddy pendergrass too, girl.
All of it. Baby, we get it.
You like dark meat. But fundamentally,
Their message is the same. Men are men.
The only difference is the way they're asking for that ass.
Marvin was a genius.
All right, he made women feel powerful,
Like they can heal them with their sex.
Luda's just honest, he just wanna hit it.
See, one way is acceptable nasty.
The other way, just nasty.
- Now prince... - Yes.
He had an artful way of getting a woman into bed.
Hold on a second, I know you're not saying.
Prince is romantic. Hell yeah!
Adore, the most beautiful girl in the world,
Nothing compares 2 u?
Darling, Nikki, soft and wet?
Do me, baby?
I'm sorry, but your boy just nasty.
No, he's acceptable nasty.
Now r. Kelly? Just nasty.
The problem is,
Men don't wanna date anymore. You don't even know how.
That's why I give them a taste of their own medicine.
To keep it moving. Excuse me?
Oh. Not with you, baby.
Look, it's not just men that are freaks, okay?
Women are freaks too. Yeah.
Baby, just because a woman knows instantly.
Whether she's going to sleep with a man or not.
Doesn't mean she doesn't wanna be romanced for a while.
Before she gives him the keys to the kingdom.
Okay, so for the first three months you had me begging.
When you already knew you were gonna let me tap it?
Damn straight.
You gotta wait 90 days to tap this.
I was raised a lady. So that kinda makes sense,
Because a guy knows in the first 15 minutes.
Of spending time with a woman.
Whether or not he'd ever marry her.
Now that's true. 'cause even with.
All that hairspray and those ripped up fishnet stockings,
I knew I was gonna propose to you.
I met Keisha two weeks ago.
And I knew instantly that we had something special,
Something just...Nasty.
'cause I'm glad you got that straight,
Because you're too broke to marry me.
And that's okay. 'cause we both know.
When you diggin' in my pockets you ain't looking for change.
What about you,
Mr. Atlanta dunks mvp, huh?
All them honeys around you, man.
When did you know you was gonna marry Val?
Y'all ain't married, huh?
My bad.
See, you said y'all been together for, like, five years.
What you waiting on, man?
I should stop talking now, huh?
- You think? - No, keish...
It's a valid question. Why not get a valid answer?
Quinn?
Excuse me.
You guys ready to get something to eat?
In a sec, April.
Okay.
Quinn?
Come on, baby.
Look, can we please celebrate that you just bought.
Your very own clothing store, huh?
To Val, everybody. Whoo!
Val, baby, come on. Don't do this right now.
Don't do what?
Wonder about my future?
About where this is going?
Where it's going?
Come on, baby, live in the present.
We're still together, aren't we?
Yeah, but you'd think after five years,
You'd wanna take it to the next level.
I'm tired of making up excuses to my parents,
And to everyone else for that matter,
As to why I'm not married yet.
It's embarrassing. Like right now.
Oh, come on, damn the embarrassment.
Baby, why you keep trying.
To fix something that's not broken, huh?
We're good. And your career's poppin'.
Ain't that a reason to be happy?
- I did not stop styling full-time,
Hand off all my a-list clients,
Take out loans for a store for me!
I made that choice for both of us.
Okay, key words... You made that choice.
You're living out of hotels, always on some world tour.
With Usher, or beyonce, or somebody.
Look, I just suggested that you open up your own spot.
Right here at home so that you can be more stable.
You agreed.
I compromised.
You're the one who wanted me here,
Next to you when you weren't on the road.
You know? Like a wife.
I assumed more stability meant marriage.
You're unbelievable!
Are you done making a scene?
Wow.
Wow what, Val?
I am such a fool.
I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it.
Here we go with the dramatics.
Can't we just have a good time?
"just have a good time, Val."
"just go with the flow, Val."
"if it's not broke, don't fix it, Val."
You always have an answer for me.
But it's never the right one.
Okay, well you know what? If you ain't happy,
Then you need to... Then what?
Then leave.
Go!
I'm not holding you prisoner. You're a grown-ass woman.
That would let you off the hook, wouldn't it?
Then it would all fall on me.
I don't think so.
But I'll tell you what.
How about I throw you the ball,
And you choose whether to run with it or drop it?
Okay, what are you talking about now?
I'm saying if you like it, then put a ring on it.
If not, let's stop wasting each other's time.
Life is too short.
You're seriously giving me an ultimatum?
Right here, right now?
Yeah. Right here, right now.
Okay, guys...
Let's not get stupid.
- Yeah, why don't we all say good-night.
So these two can work it out?
Yeah, you guys just need to calm down.
Before this gets blown even more out of proportion.
No, no, no, no. You know what?
You guys can stay.
I'm out.
Come on, man.
Think.
Quinn, don't do something you might regret.
It's too late.
Okay, what the hell just happened?
I just became a single woman.
Oh, yeah, my neck.
Yeah.
Oh!
Baby, oh.
- Ooh! - I like it like that.
We got something special, baby.
Oh, man.
What are you doing?
Going to sleep.
No, baby. Not here you're not.
You know I don't like... Yeah, yeah.
You don't like it when somebody wakes up next to you.
I remember. But it's 4:00 in the morning,
And I just put in work.
Is this because I started.
That drama between Val and Quinn?
'cause I already apologized.
Bye, Woody.
I'll call you.
You do realize I don't have a car?
Oh, please don't remind me of that.
After I just gave you some.
Cabs are easy to find around here.
Keish! I live 30 minutes away.
Come on, ma. Stop trippin'.
Let's come on and get some sleep.
Yo... Louis, man.
Oh...
So...I'm a little short on paper.
You're lucky you got all this.
Mm.
So I was... wait, okay. Bye.
Okay, now you're starting to work my nerve.
No means no.
Well, damn.
Is that what I get for not calling for three days?
Malcolm Franks. Well, well, well.
And it's been two weeks.
But who's counting?
So what's this... This lucky guy's name?
Woody.
Real cute, too.
I can't wait around for your call.
Oh, I have no doubt you stay busy, Keisha.
We both have that in common.
Miss me yet?
I wanna see you tonight.
Does that answer your question?
Malcolm, I would not be one of your Booty calls.
I'm headed to bed.
Well, then have dinner with me tomorrow night.
You think you can just call me outta the blue.
And I'll be available?
I'll pick you up.
Wear something sexy.
Something red.
You always want me to wear something red.
I like white.
And I'll be ready at 8:00.
Let's make it 9:00.
Does it always have to be about you?
If you always make it about me, Keisha,
You will never go wrong.
Good night.
Boss sees you, that's your ass.
Val knows I'm not cut out to work 20 hours a day like her.
You're not cut out to work, period.
Thank you!
I need a rich man to bring home the imported bacon.
And have our chef fry it up in a neiman Marcus pan.
You better have a rich man.
- Mm-hmm. - 'Cause we both know.
You haven't saved a dime, and...
That Booty ain't bouncin' like it used to, either.
You don't want people saying Keisha Greene didn't.
Know when to quit, do you?
Don't get it twisted.
The Booty... It still bounce.
But the checks never do.
And as far as videos? Been there, done that.
I've moved on. I'm reinventing myself.
And yet, somehow you're still gonna do Cam'ron's video.
So you're reinventing, and he's, what?
Recycling?
Ooh, you better run, bitch.
You know,
These clothes aren't gonna hang themselves.
Come on, guys, the grand opening is this week.
And when I say "guys," I mean "keisha."
Jeez.
Eve! Hi!
- Hi. - I didn't know you were.
Coming by today. You can't see it like this.
We're not ready. Um...
That is no way to treat your only investor.
I guess I will take this last check.
And come back when you're ready for it.
Oh, no, no, no. You're right, stay.
Look around, see how your money is being well-spent.
In fact, I am three months ahead of schedule.
No, no, no, no!
Not that wall.
Okay, just give me five minutes.
She was good when she was working for me,
But not three months ahead of schedule good.
Um, what is she putting in her coffee?
- It ain't the coffee. It's the break-up.
Homeboy quit her at her own party.
In front of all of her friends.
Brutal. Yeah, he jacked my girl up.
After sitting in the dark for a week,
She buried herself in this boutique.
And hasn't stopped for a second.
That's why I don't do love.
Mm-mm. - Amen.
Thank you, tmz.
Remind me to never let anything personal.
Happen around you two.
You know what? I'm actually glad you came by.
Because we can use the extra set of arms.
To help us move these boxes.
Ooh, you know what, I would,
But ever since I wrote you that big ol' check,
My wrist has been acting up.
Right. What was I thinking?
- Hey. - Hey.
You ready to take our friend back?
- That's good. - About this.
- No. - Yeah.
Stop it, no. I have to finish!
You do not have a choice, let's go.
Make sure you put that over there.
Ohh. Admit it.
You needed this time out.
Okay. I admit it.
I have been caught up in my own little world ever since...
Well, ever since...
Val, I have not seen you shed one tear.
I gave Quinn five years.
I am not giving him another tear.
That's right. Man up and stay up.
It's crazy, 'cause I had the whole thing planned.
We were gonna get married, have children, grow old.
And now I have to start all over.
Fall in love with a whole new man.
Six billion people on the planet,
And women feel we need to find one man?
Val, do you use one supply for your store? No.
So run your relationships like you run your business.
Use your head not your heart.
Keisha, you know me. I believe in soul mates.
Happily ever after.
True love.
If you want true love, buy a puppy.
If life has taught me anything.
It's not to look for everything in one man.
Because one man would never have all the things that I require.
See, that's why I have one for sex,
I have one for social functions,
And one to pay for treats like today,
Et cetera, et cetera.
So you used your head to pay for today?
Girl, please, Malcolm's paying for the day,
And he ain't even smelled it yet.
Chocolate trump.
The new guy. He might have what it takes.
To make even a pimp like you fall in love.
Ugh! Love is an illusion for the weak.
All we need is good sex.
And money in the bank. Cha-ching!
Girl, what do you really have under that robe?
Ass.
All we need is what April has.
Of all the cool, single black women I know.
Who are looking for a good black man,
It is my white girlfriend who snags him.
Yeah. Darryl is the exception.
Yeah.
He's something special.
I'm having an affair.
- Oh, hell no. - Bitch, what?
I know, it's wrong, it's immoral,
But... It's so damn exciting!
April, how could you? And with who?
No, I don't wanna know. No.
You just never know people, do you?
No, excuse me, I have been married since I was 20.
Okay, he was the first guy that I met when I got out here.
I have not lived. It is women like you.
Who turn good men bad. You know that, right?
Y'all acting like I'm cheating on you.
Give me a break.
Could I make a small suggestion?
Hell no!
Oh, my God, I look incredible.
And I never say that, I just couldn't picture it on me.
Ooh. You're wearing that dress.
- Thank you. - I told you, I know my ish.
Well, keep doing you, because my fiance's following me.
From store to store with his black card.
Oh, that's my kind of girl.
We have shoes to go with that, too.
Ooh.
Val, your stuff is so unique.
And I love that, because I get photographed a lot.
Plus, I just moved out here from Miami,
And I didn't think I would find.
A stylist who would get me.
But you do.
I hope you know you have a new best friend.
Photographed a lot? Stylist?
That's how you roll? Well, I hate to drop names,
But I will, 'cause it's mine... My father's Jerry waters.
He just bought the Atlanta dunks,
But only because he needed a new hobby.
So I roll the way daddy rolls.
And let me tell you, daddy's got some big wheels.
Well, you know, that vest comes in three colors.
Can I see all three?
I just wanna know if daddy's cute.
Okay...
Let me tell you why I love my job.
I just got us three tickets.
To a private listening party for sade!
I love sade, I love sad...
Oh, wait. I only got three.
Well, Keisha will understand, she can go next time.
- Uh-uh. - Uh, no, boo.
Us meant me, Val, and Keisha.
Sorry.
When your boss runs a record label,
You're supposed to be able to use what God gave you.
And get some perks... For everyone.
Aw. He's really sad, huh?
- And he does love sade. - Anyway.
So what are you guys gonna wear?
I don't know...
I'm jealous. I want some girlfriends.
Don't think I'm weird, but do you think
I can come hang out with you guys sometime?
You seem real cool. Oh.
Plus, the only person I know out here is my fiance.
- Sure. - Mm.
Maybe we could all go get a drink sometime.
- Yeah. - Listen,
All women are not haters. That's right.
Hey, baby. You like my dress?
Did I miss something?
Thank you. See you soon.
Val, if you need to take a breather,
Me and Omar can run the store for you today.
Well, I at least had to offer.
Oh, yeah. Thanks, I needed that laugh.
Keisha, Keisha. Long time, no see, girl.
Hi, Jasmine. How are you?
I'm well.
My friend gave me a flyer to the store opening,
So I wanted to come check it out.
You work here?
How cute.
Cam'ron told me you was doing his video.
He asked me to, but I had to turn it down.
You know I quit the video business, right?
I found God,
And he told me to make a change.
So I'm a writer now.
God told you to be a writer?
Something like that. And, actually...
You're in quite a few chapters in my book.
- Excuse me? - I'm writing a tell-all book.
About my years of being a video ViXen.
I got lots of stories about lots of rappers.
And I'm about to get paid.
I didn't have all that fun for nothing.
What do I have to do with you being a ho?
You don't think anybody saw you doing your dirty deeds?
But I did.
I don't know if someone slipped something in your drink,
Or you just truly gone crazy,
But I know one thing...
You print any lies about me, and you'll be sorry.
Ooh! This is kinda cute.
I might have to come back and get that.
See ya.
So what do you think?
Beautiful.
Great. Should I ring it up?
Yes.
A smile would be nice, too.
Here, first tell me something.
Which one of these hats makes me look cool enough.
To ask you on a date?
All right, I'll try them on...
You tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.
Would you marry me?
Marriage?
Wow.
I'm k.C.
You are? Val.
Relax, k.C., it's just a theoretical question.
I just heard once that a man knows within.
The first 15 minutes of meeting a woman.
Whether he would marry her or not.
That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in my life!
Look, a man don't know whether he'll marry a woman.
Until he sleeps with her. That's Dion.
When he starts dragging his knuckles like that,
You just... you gotta ignore him.
Where were we?
You were about to give me your view.
On the 15 minute theory.
Well, look, I know you didn't ask me, but...
In my case, it was true.
You really knew in 15 minutes?
Yeah.
Take another five minutes to get her pregnant.
Bam!
After that, I had no other choice but to marry her.
Look, the real truth is that.
A man don't ever wanna get married.
Y'all force us into this mess right here.
We get as far as we can with wit and charm.
To find that when we meet that one we like so much,
That when she lays down the law...
We gotta marry her or lose her.
How romantic.
Listen, if you wanna continue.
This conversation over dinner,
Give me a call.
A tattoo artist?
I own the shop.
I wasn't tripping.
That's three times.
It's now costing us money to run your card.
So I guess that means you won't be taking me to dinner.
Do you have cash, or what?
Just put our stuff together.
So Val... Please tell me you're single.
Hmm.
That's an understatement.
I'm still getting used to the title.
Her ex dumped her. And within three months,
He met somebody new and got engaged.
Then he sent his new piece in here today.
To rub it in my girl's face. Ain't that crazy.
Well, that was obviously his loss.
- Ooh-ooh-ooh! Don't sound to me like.
He just met the woman.
Sound like old boy been creepin' all along.
Playa playa kept one in the freezer!
Mm, that ain't even right.
What do you bring to the group, huh?
- I... - Oh, forget it, we're closed.
Thank you.
- Hi. - Hey.
You know, I didn't expect you to call, but...
I'm stoked you did.
So...
Your wish is my command.
What do you wanna do?
I wanna do something...
Different.
Wait a second. Wait.
Are you sure? Because I got the feeling.
You were looking for more. You know, like...
A good guy.
- I thought you wanted to... - Shh.
Don't think, k.C.
Just do.
Good girl.
Always remember. Mm.
Well, you may have to get a new favorite color,
Because I'm running out of red.
Hi, handsome. Hey, pretty girl.
Speaking of pretty.
Oh, try them on.
I custom-made these for j-lo,
But she sent them back to me.
Told me to pick the diamonds,
And I thought these would look nice against her skin.
She disagreed.
Well, either that bitch is blind or insane,
Because these are bananas. I know, right?
- Oh! - Besides,
I only want women who appreciate my pieces to wear them.
Mm.
How can I show you my appreciation?
Mm.
You like surprises?
- Uh-huh.
I sent my chef home. I was hoping you would.
Cook a little something for me tonight.
- Mm. - I like smothered pork chops,
Old-fashioned Mac and cheese, maybe some greens,
Maybe a peach cobbler. It's been a long time.
Since a woman spoiled me like that.
So I wore red for you, I'm cooking dinner,
You took the diamonds off...
I'm trying to figure out what Keisha's surprise is.
You can't cook. Oh.
It's typical, you know.
Pretty girl, lost in the kitchen.
I know how to cook.
I just didn't think I'd be wearing an apron over all this.
Where's your kitchen?
Huh?
Mmm, Mmm.
Yep.
Voila.
Okay, two things.
I like breakfast... For breakfast.
And I didn't expect you to take me seriously, Keisha!
I mean, I was joking!
But you, you went right on in there with authority.
And I heard pots and pans banging,
Cabinets opening, stuff sizzling.
I did get kinda happy.
Okay.
Two things.
I could really hurt you right now.
And okay, I don't really cook all that much.
Listen, I had my chef leave us two plates in the warmer.
And we can just eat that.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
We gonna eat this.
And then we're gonna lick our fingers and say "thank you,"
And tell Keisha how tasty it was,
And worth sweating through her dress.
Oh, I see what you are.
You one of those kind of guys that like to intimidate girls.
You know, get them off-balance.
And you can get away with it.
Because you got money, and charm, and you intelligent.
You must be used to younger, inexperienced, insecure women.
Malcolm, I assure you...
I'm not that girl. And based on the fact that.
We only see each other when you want and where you want,
You're obviously a control freak too.
But know this. I ain't scared of you.
Now we can eat.
So you actually came all the way over here.
To finally get that off your chest?
Well, I actually came over here to see.
If I was still interested in letting you date me.
"letting" me date you?
- Uh-huh. - Oh.
Well, how's that working out so far?
Well, you haven't totally ruined your chances yet.
- You're a brat. - Mm.
- Spoiled. - Mm.
- Pretty eyes. - Mm.
Perfect nose. Sexy lips.
Legs that will not quit.
Mm.
And don't even get me started on your ass.
But let me tell you something, Keisha.
I am not like most dudes.
It takes a lot more than a pretty face.
And a short dress to impress me.
Yeah. Yeah, you got my attention.
But now you gotta keep it.
You through?
Oh, no.
Now I'm sorry you spent 15 minutes making a meal.
That I'm sure tastes good.
However, my four-star chef.
Made us a meal that I know we are both gonna prefer.
And that's what we're gonna eat.
So what are you drinking tonight?
Wine...Or champagne?
Champagne.
Please don't pick up.
Thank you.
Hey, k.C., it's Val.
Yes, I've gotten all of your messages.
I've just been super busy.
So anyway, you know, we barely know each other.
So let's just chalk it up to that one time.
And forget it ever happened.
Okay?
Great. Thanks.
Take care. Bye.
Thanks for coming.
Wow. You look nice.
I have a date.
This isn't gonna take long.
I just need to say a few things.
Damn.
You really look good.
Quinn, I need closure.
Just help me understand why you weren't big enough.
To end it a long time ago.
Why did we go on if you knew we didn't have a future?
We had a future together, Val.
It just didn't involve marriage.
And I was okay with that in the beginning,
And you were too, remember?
Yeah! In the beginning.
But stuff changes.
I thought we were changing together.
I mean, when you spend five years with someone,
And you start picking out baby names...
Is it crazy to think that a wedding.
Is somewhere in the future?
The timing wasn't ever right with us, Val.
It just wasn't ever gonna happen.
Well, obviously it wasn't gonna happen with me.
But you didn't waste any time going out.
And making it happen with some other chick.
How could you do that? Look, we'd still be together.
If you hadn't given me that ultimatum.
But I'm glad you did.
Okay, look, you wanna hear the truth?
Then here it is.
My mama liked you.
You looked good on my arm, you never gave me any problems,
And it was cool between us. Real cool.
So I figured I'd eventually fall in love with you.
But I never did.
Wait a minute...
Quinn Andre Davis,
Are you saying you were never in love with me?
Val, I loved you, yeah. I did.
And I cared about you. I still do.
And if you hadn't pressed me,
I wouldn't have realized I was settling with you.
Look...
Val, I didn't know.
I didn't know that you weren't the one.
Until I met Shelly,
And it was so clear to me that she was.
No. No, no, no!
No!
You were in a different city every other week!
You were seeing that girl.
While I was the fool at home loving you!
You're trying to justify your cheating?
Don't insult me. Look,
You can tell yourself whatever you need to.
I didn't meet Shelly until after we broke up.
I never meant to do you wrong.
But really, I did both of us a favor.
So now... You can go find someone else.
To love you the way you need it.
Like I did.
If I were a weaker woman,
I'd be really screwed-up right now.
But I know my worth.
I'm intelligent, fine, I own my own business.
Actually, you're the weak one.
For not recognizing what you lost.
You never deserved me.
So please...
Let the door hit you on the way out.
Get out of my apartment!
- Valerie, listen... - Get out!
No.
Hey, hey.
Come here.
Wait a minute, chilli.
Kevin, lamar, and Dave?
How have we managed to date the same guys?
This town is way too small.
There's one man for every 12 women in Atlanta.
And one of us is gonna have to leave.
I'm gonna be the bigger person, though, and volunteer you.
Oh, yeah?
Wait. What about Phil?
Tall, cute Booty, nice sexy arms,
Buckhead? No, I don't know him.
You ain't right, girl.
Okay, okay, we dated one time.
Ah!
He does have a nice Booty.
Oh, hell no! You too?
You... game over.
I'm gonna talk to y'all later.
Okay, thank you for coming.
This is some bull.
What you know about his Booty?
Looks like we got the same taste.
Ooh, I don't like you saying that,
That doesn't even sound right.
Is that Val?
No. Can't be.
Thank you.
Oh!
Ooh! Damn!
Either you discovered sugardaddy. Com,
Or Quinn is trying to buy you back.
As if I'd let him do anything for me.
I bought this bad boy myself!
For the last couple of days, everything he said to me.
Has been running through my mind on repeat.
And this morning, I finally let his words inspire me.
- Hey! - Hi!
I just broke a hell of a lot of traffic laws to get here.
What's up? This!
Ta-da!
Oh, yeah, it's a nice car.
But how the hell can you afford it?
Well, what had happened was...
You had it out with Quinn again.
And went on an emotional spending spree.
Then some slick sales guy preyed on your vulnerability.
And got a big-ass commission off of it.
Okay, can I tell my own story, please?
Okay, so you're both right.
But I figured, why should I settle.
For that old car that I have been driving for years.
That I never really loved in the first place?
No one should settle for anything that does not.
Make them feel good, and whole, and valuable.
All that's great, but can you afford this mug?
Who cares?
Because now I am more determined than ever to move on.
I feel brand-new.
- Again? - Yes, again!
Plus, I'm throwing myself a grand opening party.
And you two have to help me celebrate.
- Oh! - And plan it.
You two start planning,
I'm gonna take the new Val for a little spin.
Throw me the keys.
Oh, hell no. I'm coming with.
Okay, Val, what is wrong?
We're supposed to be celebrating.
And you've been making that face since we got here.
What face?
The face that's saying something's wrong.
Well, I just wanna make sure the party goes well.
It was stressful planning it, that's all.
I said that's all.
Can we talk about something else, please?
Okay.
Hey, is that mayor Howard?
They say he's a real cool, down-to-earth guy.
I guess it's true.
Yeah, he's really interesting.
He comes from a long line of politicians,
Like the Kennedys.
Is that his wife? Yep, that's her.
- He could get it! - Mm, yes he could.
He is getting it. All of it.
- No! - You doing the mayor!
You wanna get on the mic next time?
I don't think everybody heard you!
- What? - Hey, there's my baby!
- Oh. - Hey, ladies.
- Hi. - Hey, come here,
I want you to meet a friend of mine, all right?
Look at him. Nothing but swag.
Can't help but love that guy.
Come on, come on.
- Mm-mm.
Oh.
Woody, can you get me another mojito, please?
Nothing but a word.
So who's that you're with?
- Just a guy. - Mm.
- And her? - Just a girl.
I can send her home anytime.
And why would you wanna do that?
Because I thought I might finally.
Let you sleep with me tonight. What?
Your little date won't do that for you?
Mm. I have a strange feeling.
She'd let me do just about anything.
That I want to her, Keisha. - Mm-hmm.
But I'm preoccupied by someone else.
Oh, and what would be in it for that someone else?
Bragging rights.
Oh. Children brag.
Call me when you wanna know what women do.
I see you know Malcolm.
Of course you do, he's ballin'.
I'm actually trying to see.
What's up with that myself.
You know how we do.
We don't do anything alike.
But we do need to finish the conversation.
About why I'm in your book.
And you don't know anything about me.
Keisha,
In ten years, we've done, like, what?
10, 15 videos together?
I know a lot.
Don't play games with me, Jasmine.
Say what you gotta say.
Keisha, is everything cool?
- I'm-a find out.
Say it.
You sure you wanna do this right here?
Okay.
I saw you steal several thousands of dollars' worth.
Of jewelry and cash. Sound familiar?
Couple of different rappers, couple of different parties.
What is she talking about, Keisha?
Before you answer that...
I already talked to the guy who fenced it for you.
He described you perfectly.
You shouldn't have such a memorable ass.
Okay, you know what, you're not gonna come into my store.
During my party and mess with my friend.
So if you've said everything you need to say,
You can just step.
Actually, there's one last thing,
Then I'll step.
I'll keep your secret for you,
But you gotta do one last thing for me.
At Cam'ron's video shoot.
I'm not stealing no cash, no jewelry,
No nothing for nobody.
I'm not a thief.
I'll be sure to include that quote.
Right up under your picture.
But I really don't think.
That's gonna sound too convincing.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Keisha, what is going on?
Whoa. What are you doing here?
I just gotta say, I'm not losing sleep...
But if I had stopped calling, you'd have my picture up.
On a dartboard with about 50 holes in my head by now.
So before you get mad at the next dude.
For bouncing after he bangs you or your friends,
Just think about how easy it is.
Okay, I'm just saying.
Okay, I'm sorry, all right?
I just... I feel icky.
I feel like we moved too fast.
We?
Come on, we?
Okay, me.
You know, I was just trying something different,
And...To see how it felt, and it just...
It didn't feel right.
Hey, I tried to be the nice guy.
You didn't want that.
So come on. What are you doing?
How about one last time?
Hmm? Okay, you know what?
I have a better place. Yeah?
Yeah. Let's go.
Come with me.
I wanna show you something.
- What? - Come here.
- What is it? - I'm gonna show you.
I'm gonna show you. Okay.
Outside, I wanna show you something outside, okay?
- All right, well... - Just give me five minutes.
Five minutes. Hurry up, it's cold out here.
Yeah, you could use the cooling off.
Val! Come on!
Okay, tacky patrol is here.
No sex during this party.
Trust me, I am not going there.
Come on, Val, please! Let me in.
Okay, spill it,
What is really going on with you tonight, Val?
I am stressed the hell out, okay?
Keisha's being blackmailed, you're cheating on your husband,
I had a one-night stand,
And I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant!
Okay, whoa! Drama overload.
Blackmailed? I'll fill you in later.
- Pregnant, Val? - Wait.
- You're having sex? - With who?
All right, the joke is up, come on.
Shut up. You and the white boy?
Yes.
Is there a full moon or something?
'cause this night is getting crazier.
Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?
My period is late, and I took all five of.
Those pregnancy tests you have under the sink.
They all said yes.
Whoo.
Fine, Val. Have a nice life.
And actually, it might not be k.C.'s either.
- Come again? - Well...
I kinda sorta had another slip-up.
That I forgot to mention.
With Quinn.
But it was just once, okay?
He told me that he was not in love with me.
That he was settling for me.
Do you know how that made me feel?
Apparently bad enough for you to bone him.
Yes. He needed to know.
That I could still have him if I wanted him.
I had to have the last word.
Okay, I get the ex sex. But I'm thinking.
You may have gotten something besides pregnant.
While waving your one-woman anti-condom campaign.
All around Atlanta!
I used a condom with k.C.
It broke. Oh.
And then with Quinn, I don't know.
We just got all emotional, and then the next thing I knew
I was up against the wall... We got it.
Yeah.
Damn, y'all look like y'all could use a drink.
They're looking for you, Val.
Mayor Howard wants to see you?
The mayor? He doesn't know me.
- Mm-hmm. You're welcome.
I'll take that drink.
Oh.
There she is. Come on over here.
Val, I have to commend you on your success.
That's why I started.
The Atlanta women's empowerment initiative,
So women like you can start their own businesses.
It's important we support each other in every way we can.
Thank you. It's an honor to be recognized.
By a man of... Such integrity.
Hi, I'm Keisha.
I voted for you twice.
I hope I haven't disappointed you.
No. You've been great.
Thank you.
All right, well, we're gonna get out of here.
It was good seeing you all.
Once again, congratulations, Val.
- Thank you. - Good night to everyone.
What a dog!
Yeah, but look how hot he is.
Save some brothers for us, please!
I'd be deep in my hangover sleep right now.
If someone wasn't too cheap to hire a cleaning service.
Cleaning crews cost.
And I'm hemorrhaging money every week.
Just keeping the store running.
So if you don't mind, there's a beer by your foot.
You know what I can't figure out?
Is how Jasmine possibly saw me take those things.
While her legs were swung over some dude's shoulders.
No, more importantly,
Is do the people you stole from know where you work?
'cause I can't afford to repair these windows.
Once they get all shot up. It won't come to that, silly.
- Mm. - Look,
You and I both know people in this business.
Are very tacky.
They have you do a ton of work,
And when it's time to pay up you can't find them.
It's happened to you with a few artists.
So when it happened to me, I did what I had to do.
Yeah, so how are you gonna get outta this?
I don't know.
I'm still too hung over to try to figure out my life.
Let's talk about your life.
And how many sticks you're gonna pee on.
You're pregnant, hon.
Let's deal with that.
Good morning.
I brought croissants.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
You know, I always said,
If I got pregnant and I wasn't ready,
I would have an abortion.
But it's different when it actually happens.
So wait, you're gonna keep it?
Well, my instinct isn't to say no.
What?
Trust me, I am just as surprised.
To hear me say this as you are.
But I thought about it all night.
And I think...
I just might have a baby.
Oh, that's the third time this week.
I have to call an electrician.
Oh, God, when it rains, it pours.
Look, having a baby is no joke.
It takes a village to raise a child,
And I am not village material right now.
Yeah, but it could be the best thing.
That ever happened to you. Yeah, if it's Quinn's,
'cause that basketball money would be really cute.
And if it's k.C.'s?
The bottom line is, it's yours.
As much as I tease you, you know I got your back.
You just gotta do what's right for you.
Val, I just want you to know,
I support whatever you wanna do.
Is this too sexy for 10:00 A.M.?
Hmm. Having breakfast with the mayor?
Actually, I'm headed to court where I'm gonna be breakfast.
Court? It's Sunday morning.
- Uh-huh, he's gonna have an officer.
Open up the building for us,
And we are gonna do it on the witness stand.
And I swear, I'm telling the truth,
The whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
Wait a second.
The police department knows about this?
You guys are getting a little out-of-hand.
Okay, and you know I take on other people's stress,
So I really need you to be careful.
Do not let his Shady ass.
Get you caught in a public scandal.
That will cost you your reputation and your marriage.
That's him, so.
I gotta go.
- That's a shame. - Isn't it?
How'd she get him and we didn't?
Oh.
That's a really pretty dress. Thank you.
It's gonna look even better on the floor.
- ♪ romantic, romantic ♪ - ♪ 'Cause you know why ♪
♪ all you do is sit at home ♪
♪ whips, wheels, getting chrome ♪
♪ everybody wanna get a loan ♪
♪ damn, get your own, leave me the alone ♪
♪ mother [...], live and learn ♪
♪ money come in circles ♪
♪ maybe one day you will get a turn ♪
♪ got a bottle, raise it up ♪
♪ got [...], [...] it up ♪
♪ clap two times if you in the club ♪
♪ raise it up ♪
♪ raise it up if you never gave a [...] ♪
♪ raise it up ♪.
Yeah, finished!
Okay, cut!
All right. Whoo.
How did I become one of those women on Maury povich.
Who doesn't know who the father of her child is?
I love that show.
Omar, I had sex with two men.
In a very short period of time.
That is borderline porn star behavior.
So you had a couple of slutty moments.
At least you can still count.
The men you've been with on one hand.
I can't do that.
Look, you're a good woman, don't beat yourself up.
Aw. Why do you have to like men?
Hell, why do I have to like men?
You know what, I hate men.
You're on your own on that one.
Mm, hey.
Who the hell's wearing this?
Uh...That would be you.
The milf. The what?
- That's an old... - I know what it is,
And it means I'm still hot. Shut up, Omar.
How's my ass look? I just felt something jiggle.
That I've never felt jiggle before.
You know what, I'm not gonna tell either one of them.
Nope. Oh, hell no.
You still talking about doing this by yourself?
Val, you're not the single parent type.
You gotta let both of them know at least one of them.
Is about to be a daddy. Oh, yeah.
And how's that gonna sound?
"hey, k.C., guess what, I'm pregnant!
"wait, don't run. It might not be yours.
"see, I had sex with my ex-boyfriend.
And did I mention he's engaged?"
- Mm. - Yeah.
It's been a very busy week for me.
So your child doesn't get to know its father.
Because you don't like the way the truth sounded?
I understand why you don't wanna tell Quinn.
He's an ass. But why not k.C.?
Oh, what am I supposed to do?
Just blurt it out? I mean, shouldn't I.
At least get to know the guy a little bit first?
So now you have good reason to.
Next time do it the other way around, though.
Huh? Huh?
Ah, there's that smile.
Now come on, please.
Somebody tell me. How does my ass look?
You're good, mama. Believe that.
There you go.
You all right.
How you doin', you all right?
Keish... What up, girl?
- Hey, how are you? - What's happening?
You all right? I'm good, mm.
This is my man, v, right here.
Hey, v, how you doing?
Damn, you looking good, baby girl.
I know we hanging out after the video.
We got some catching up to do. I wish I could,
But I got something in the morning,
And I gotta get my beauty rest.
But I'll see you at the club Saturday, right?
- For sure. - Cool.
- All right. - All right.
All right.
Hey, big Mike.
What's up?
- Hi. - You know, technically,
I shouldn't even be speaking to you.
Yes, I know. And I'm sorry.
That's why I'm extending an olive branch.
- I'd prefer that six-pack of brew you promised.
Oh, you were serious about that?
I'm kidding.
It's in the fridge, and I ordered pizza.
Come back.
So, I gotta ask.
Is this a Booty call or a friendly call?
I gotta make sure with you.
It's like I said on the phone.
I was a jerk to you, and that's not my style.
So if you're willing,
I'd like to make it up to you.
Start over. Be friends.
See what happens.
All right.
Friend?
Deal. Okay.
Do you wanna sit down? Yeah.
Okay.
So why the sudden change of heart?
I'm trying to get to know you better.
What do you wanna know?
Do you usually date black women?
Or am I an exception?
You're just gonna start right off.
With the hard questions, huh?
I'm not John Mayer. I date women of all color.
I'm all about equal opportunity in the bedroom.
Obviously.
I mean, have you ever taken a black woman.
Home to your parents?
That's like a third beer kind of question.
Um, can we start with the basics?
Like, where I'm from, or how old I am?
Look, I've never dated a white guy.
So these are innocent get-to-know-you questions.
Just be honest.
Okay.
In High School, I brought a black girl to the prom.
And my parents refused to put the pictures up.
With all the others.
How are they now?
My mom watches Oprah.
Oh, great. Um...
I feel like I'm in the hot seat.
Okay. You ask me a question.
Can we watch the ufc fight.
And get back to getting to know each other later?
Okay, yeah. But I wanted to watch a movie.
Yeah, what's this? We could watch...
Love Jones. Probably never.
Okay, ufc it is.
- How's your lobster? - Mm, it's good.
It's my favorite. Good, yeah.
Honey, look...
I think we need to go on a vacation.
I thought I might take you on the french riviera.
We could rent a villa,
Spend all day in bed,
Start making some babies...
Babies?
Come on, you know I've been dying.
To start a family for a few years now.
I've been ready.
Come on, the only question is when you're gonna be.
Do we have to talk about this right now?
Why not now?
We're not getting any younger, April.
And I want at least three kids.
Darryl, please, right now it's just...
It's not a good time.
For the baby or the discussion?
Both.
Look, no. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Listen,
In a year or two, we can seriously discuss it, okay?
Fine.
But I'm not gonna wait too much longer, April.
I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back.
Trevor!
- Hey. - What the hell.
Are you doing here? I had to see you.
I had to. No, it's too risky.
- No, no. - No, um, gee,
Who is that strange woman making out with the mayor?
Get a grip! Look, look, look. Come here.
What?
I wanna know something.
What?
Are you still sleeping with him?
- With who? - Your husband.
Of course I'm sleeping with him; he's my husband.
Well, I want you to stop.
I don't wanna share you.
And what about your wife?
You gonna stop sleeping with her?
I already have.
Well... I didn't ask you to.
I wanted to. And if I'm not sleeping.
With anybody else, I don't want you to either.
I told you, I want this to be mine.
Okay, whoa. Slow down, dude.
No. No!
Hey...
There you are.
I was about to send out a search party.
Honey, is everything okay?
Huh? Yes. Everything's fine.
Let's just finish.
April, I'm not stupid.
Something just happened. Talk to me.
Nothing, baby.
- April. - Hmm?
What's going on?
Val is pregnant with Quinn's baby.
What? But aren't they...?
Yeah, she called me when I was in the bathroom.
And I guess her and Quinn hooked up.
And now she's pregnant, you know, and she was crying,
And, you know, when my girl gets upset,
I get upset and I'm just, you know, I'm just...
I'm... I'm really... I'm just... I'm worried for her.
Damn. And they weren't even trying.
Um, could we just get the bill and go?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What up? You got that thing?
Let's get a couple of things straight right now.
I don't like being threatened,
And you're not gonna keep coming back to me,
Milking me every time you need money.
So let's be clear. You and I are done.
Nah, we ain't done until you give me what you got.
Take me out of your damn book.
Damn, gangster girl, calm down.
You did your part, now let me do mine.
Look like I can get, like, 20, 30 gs for this, though.
Keisha, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, girl.
Jasmine, I'm not playing with you.
Don't make this get ugly.
No. Oh!
Very nice job by...
Oh.
Yes! Shh!
I knew my boy was gonna win.
Man, that's awesome. Did you see that?
Wow, you really like this stuff, huh?
Yeah, me and my dad, we used to watch.
Mid-south wrestling every Saturday morning.
When I was a little boy.
Yeah, little kids and their fathers,
That's a really important relationship.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
So do you have any?
- Kids? - Yeah.
Oh, hell no.
No, I'm putting that off for as long as possible.
I'm too young.
Last thing I'm ready to be is a role model.
Huh.
Do you have any?
No. No.
Yeah. Take your time, you know?
Have some more fun. Yeah.
Well, I didn't realize how late it was.
Uh... Oh, wow.
Yeah. I guess I should get going.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Right.
I'll call you. Okay.
You're kidding me.
Quinn, why are you banging on my door like that?
No, what the hell are you doing.
Telling people you're pregnant by me?
I have a fiancee.
What? What are you talking about?
Who told you that? Darryl.
He said April told him.
You called, crying or some crap.
Don't play crazy with me, Val.
What the hell is going on?
Okay, first of all,
I didn't call anybody, crying,
So don't flatter yourself.
Believe me, the last thing I wanted.
Was for you to find out.
So you are pregnant?
Yeah.
Damn.
Is it mine?
Whose else would it be, Quinn?
I'm not a ho like you. I don't sleep around.
Well, you ain't keepin' it.
- Excuse me? - Oh, hell no.
And you know what? I want a paternity test.
You're not getting one damn dime out of me.
Unless you prove it.
I just told you I have a fianc...
Oh, a fiancee.
And we wouldn't want "the one"
To know you have one on the way.
You act like I did this by myself.
You know, there's nothing else to say.
You know, I'd really appreciate it.
If you kept your mouth shut about this.
Val, I am so sorry.
I should have told Darryl not to tell Quinn.
How about you shouldn't have said anything.
About my personal life at all?
I panicked.
I mean, Trevor walked in the restaurant.
And Darryl was looking at me funny, and I...
I just... I didn't know what else to say.
I was wrong and you have every right to be mad at me.
Hmm, well, it's just good to know.
That one of your best friends.
Will sell you out in a heartbeat.
To save her own ass.
Val, I'm sorry. Forgive me.
I'm trying, but you're gonna hear about it for a while.
That short circuit is eventually.
Gonna burn out your whole system.
I can make it good as new for $8,000.
What? I can do maybe $5,000.
Since you're a friend of mayor Howard's,
I can work with $5,000.
I can start tomorrow.
Well, could you do maybe $4,000?
Please.
Well, I had to try.
I could loan it to you.
No, thank you.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah, Quinn.
Can you believe what a jerk he is?
Yeah, I actually can.
But what about k.C.? How did that go?
Well, considering that his parents don't like black people,
I'm assuming a little half-black grandchild.
Is not going to go over very well.
Plus, there was no magic. No spark.
I think we peaked in the dressing room.
Oh, Val, I'm worried about you.
Please, I'm worried about you.
I know, but the problem is, you can't unring a bell.
- Ah. Mm-hmm.
You gonna keep holding my towel hostage.
Or are you gonna dry my back?
- Ah. - You know something?
I haven't seen or heard from you since Val's party.
Did you miss me?
Are you hungry?
You didn't answer my question.
Did you miss me?
Oh.
Does that answer your question?
Now are you hungry?
Because there is plenty to eat.
Mmm. I just love Southern hospitality.
Mmm.
I'm sorry, babe. I gotta take this.
Hey, what's up, man?
That watch was one of a kind.
No, no, I ain't blaming him. That's my boy.
Oh, you best believe I'm gonna find out who stole it,
And then they're gonna find out who they're dealing with.
Yeah. Bye.
What happened?
Cam'ron was wearing one of my pieces.
In one of his videos that he was shooting the other day,
And somebody jacked him, but in actuality, Keisha,
They jacked me because he was just borrowing the pieces.
Oh, no. They weren't insured?
That ain't the point, Keisha.
Now I've been disrespected, and...
You know what?
I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk about that right now.
I want to focus on you.
Well, I can't be mad at that.
- Yeah. - Hmm.
So why don't you get in the water with me, babe?
- Right now? - Right now.
- No, I can't get in the water. - Yes, you can.
I don't want to. No, stop it! No!
I'll buy you new hair.
Oh, you've got that right.
Ooh, and another dress and some new shoes.
Mmm.
Uhh! Come on.
Let's go inside.
I got you all wet.
Cute. But no.
Let's leave some things to the imagination.
Okay, I'm gonna play your game,
But I'm gonna remember this.
Trust me, Malcolm, when I want it,
You'll know.
So I'm standing there with him and he gets this call,
And I realize it was Malcolm's bracelet.
Val, what the hell did I do?
Do you think he thought it was...
No, and that made it worse.
See, he was so sweet.
And he wanted to play.
I felt like an ass because I...
I actually kind of like him.
And believe it or not, I care what he thinks about me.
Wait. Keisha Greene actually likes a guy?
Wow. I haven't heard you say that in years.
I said "kind of." let's not get carried away.
Hmm.
But if he finds out the truth,
He's gonna think I'm scandalous,
Like I go around robbing rich guys.
He's not gonna get my reasons.
I mean, who would?
So what did you do?
I left.
I couldn't even look at him.
And you know I got a great poker face.
I can hang with the best of 'em.
But I kept thinking, this isn't 1998.
That man didn't dog me out.
Malcolm didn't do me dirty.
Uhh!
Why did I let myself stoop so low?
I hate to kick you when you're down,
But that was really stupid,
Then and especially now.
I know.
It just makes me ask myself,
Why am I doing the same things I was.
Back in the day?
Dancing in videos in too little clothes.
For too little money.
Hmm, I've been trying to tell you that delicately.
For the past five years.
So you're just gonna keep on kicking, huh?
I'm your friend.
I'm always gonna keep it 100 with you.
Something's gotta give.
It's time to be a big girl and make some changes.
- Hmm. We all need a wake-up call now and then.
I got one too.
Yeah?
The electrician came by.
The entire store needs to be rewired.
So I drove around the city today.
For a couple of hours, saying good-bye.
To the jag I could never afford in the first place.
I'm surprised it took this long.
For you to realize that.
I mean, why do I need a car to validate me.
When I can just look at my resume?
That's right.
Look at all what you've accomplished.
You got this. Yep.
Me, my store, and this baby are going to be just fine.
And when the time is right,
The whole love/relationship thing.
Will work itself out for me too.
This would be the part where you say.
Keisha's also gonna be fine.
Hello? Can I get a little encouragement here, please?
Oh, yes, of course.
Baby, you're gonna be just fine.
Oh, shut up. It's too late now.
- Hi, Omar. - Hey.
You're in a good mood.
Did you get lucky with another customer?
Ha ha. No.
I took the jag back and they still had my old car.
You took the jag back? Damn!
Now don't sleep on the hoopty.
Ms. Kiki is very reliable.
Yeah, but it's gonna be so much harder.
To pick up straight boys in that.
But I've managed this long.
Hey, Val.
Oh, hi, Darryl. How are you?
Just working hard, you know. You?
- Busy, busy. - I can imagine.
Are you... are you shopping for yourself?
Because I don't think that's your style.
- I-I... no, no. I'm just waiting for April.
She in the bathroom or something?
What? No. April isn't here.
What? I just talked to her ten minutes ago.
She said she was here with you.
Well, she was here. She was.
But she just left.
I mean, you must have just missed her.
You didn't see her out there? No.
That's crazy, because she was.
Just standing right here, right?
Yep, I saw her standing over there too.
We were on our cells but her phone kept dropping me,
So I just decided I'd come by here.
And see if I could catch her.
- Catch her here? No, mm-mm.
I mean, because she just left.
Why wouldn't she just call and tell me she was leaving?
You know what happened?
I asked her to run a quick errand for me to fedex,
But I will just call her right now.
And tell her to come right back, okay?
Val, don't worry about it. I'll call her.
- No, I'll just call. - That's okay.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah. Um, thanks.
- Okay, bye. - Bye.
Unbelievable.
Oh.
Oh, mm-hmm.
Y'all bitches got drama.
- Hey. - Hey.
Baby, I'm trying to get ready.
Stop.
Honey, you've been so tense lately.
And things have been a little off between us,
But we're gonna keep trying.
Because I'm not giving up on us.
You really are a wonderful husband,
And I love you.
I love you.
Mmm.
But I've gotta get ready.
Well, I guess you can stop designing.
Those maternity clothes now.
Why didn't I go to the doctor.
And get a professional pregnancy test in the first place?
You shouldn't have waited until today.
You could have saved yourself a hell of a lot of stress.
I know, but what are the odds.
That all five of those pregnancy tests would be wrong?
I bought them on clearance a couple of years ago.
I didn't know they had an expiration date.
I have to admit, even though I was committed to it,
I'm so happy I'm not about to be someone's mother.
You dodged a bullet, girl.
The whole village dodged one.
What happened to all the support?
That was then, this is now.
- All right, so no more slip-ups.
But if you do, just make sure you wrap it up.
Oh, trust me, I am done with sex for a while.
Oh. Oh.
Whoa, damn. He could get it.
- All of it. - All of it.
Oh. You know what?
I'll meet you guys later.
I need to make a stop.
You sure you got this?
Yeah, I got this.
So, even though, you know, my hamstring pulls,
And I'm telling you, it hurt like hell, you know,
I had to put the ball up.
We only had five seconds on the clock.
So I was like, bam!
We in the playoffs, baby.
I cannot tell you how many times
I've heard that story on a Saturday afternoon.
At this very cafe at this very table.
Excuse me for interrupting. I'm sorry, Shelly.
I know now that you had nothing to do with this,
But I really think you should hear what I have to say.
What are you doing, Val?
Well, I have great news.
I'm not pregnant.
So now you and Shelly will never have to deal with that.
The only thing you guys do have to deal with.
Is your infidelity.
Yes, it happened a couple of weeks ago,
And trust me, I am not here to gloat.
Nor am I here to start drama.
I just feel that as a woman,
It is only fair that you know.
Who you're dealing with.
See? See? Shelly, I told you she was crazy.
Come on, baby, let's go.
No, actually, I'd like to hear this.
Quinn, I'm just gonna say what I came to say.
And let you finish your lunch.
Thank you for showing me that marrying you.
Would have been the biggest mistake of my life.
I look at you now and I can't understand.
Why I was so caught up.
You're pathetic, and a sorry excuse for a human being,
Let alone a man.
And when I say "man," I use the term very loosely.
You see, this is exactly why I kicked you to the curb.
Too much damn drama. You know what y...
Go to hell, Quinn.
Excuse me, they need a towel at that table over there.
He's made quite a mess.
- Thank you, Woody. - Ooh.
And you remembered my three olives.
Hey, when you got three beautiful women, it's easy.
Whoo!
I told you. Everyone should get a Woody.
You know, I'm feeling really objectified right now.
I'm going to the bathroom.
So I take it Woody's coming over tonight?
I don't know where Woody's coming tonight,
But I'm going to Malcolm's.
I don't know how you do it, girl,
But you need to teach a class.
I can't give away my secrets.
Oh, yes, and speaking of secrets,
April, if you want to lie to your husband, that's on you.
Please don't make me do it too.
Now I feel like I'm cheating.
Not to mention, I am the worst liar in the world.
I know. I'm sorry, I know.
But Val, seriously, thanks for covering for me.
Because you totally saved my ass.
- Mm-hmm. Twice.
April, let me preface this by saying
I'm your friend, okay?
Mayor Howard is a powerful black man.
Running a black city.
He is not leaving his black wife for your white ass,
But I love you.
I'm not trying to get him to leave his wife,
Nor am I trying to leave Darryl.
It's just a fling.
The mayor doesn't mean anything more to me than that.
I got it under control.
Oh.
Is it me or is that Shelly coming over here?
Oh, yes. I invited her.
I mean, the least I can do is buy the girl a drink,
Considering I'm the reason she called off her wedding.
Besides, she doesn't have any friends.
Hi. Hello.
- Can I join you? - Absolutely.
Oh, it must have been hard to leave the house.
Are you okay? 'Cause of Quinn?
Okay, so you guys should know this about me.
I get engaged a lot.
I actually left the last one at the altar,
So Quinn kind of got off easy.
And I was feeling sorry for you.
Well, if it makes you feel better,
My dad is pissed.
He says I don't take anything seriously.
And that I have a.D.D.
Oh, my God. Did you guys hear about the mayor?
He has some white chick on the side,
And they just tweeted a picture of her.
It's loading.
Can you tell it's me?
No, not at all, because it's not you.
- Thank God. - Yeah. Thank God.
Okay, ladies, we all have a reason.
To worship the Tequila gods tonight.
A toast. Let me start.
Okay.
- Val. - Mm-hmm.
I have been a jerk.
I have been selfish to the people that I love.
- That's the alcohol talking. - No, it's all me.
Thank you for being a friend.
While I'm going through whatever it is I'm going through.
Can we drink now before the tears start?
We made it out of the fire, ladies.
Mmm!
To old friends, new friends,
And great escapes.
Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear. - Aye yi yi yi!
Okay, so clearly I have some catching up to do with y'all.
- Mmm! - Yes.
- Yeah. - Let's dance.
Whoo!
- It feels good to be drama-free.
Yeah, well, you know with us,
That won't last long.
Should I be scared to hang out with you guys?
Just fasten your seatbelt, girl,
'cause you're about to go for a ride.